Wednesday 1st August 2007; It is 12 days after my last chemo and I am really excited about what I have found. After I had gotten up out of bed this morning, had my cuppa and breakfast I went upstairs to get washed and changed. When I looked in the mirror, I couldn’t believe what I saw and got so excited and giddy and just had to ring Lee straight away to tell him the good news of what I had found. I got a little annoyed with him at first as he didn’t answer, even though I fully understand that he can’t always answer his phone at the drop of a hat, due to him being two hundred feet up in the air on an incomplete roof, but I just wanted to tell him my good news and wanted to tell him now, I couldn’t contain myself. Who else can I ring I thought. Ha har my mum! I had just started to dial her number when my phone vibrated out of control and out of my hand landing on the living room floor. Quickly picking it up I answered yelling down the phone “I’ve got Hair! Lee I’ve got Hair!” Lee started to laugh “Why have you coughed up a fir ball or something?” He said. “Lee I’m serious, I’ve got hair sprouting out the top of my head” I told him very seriously. Lee was in hysterics now and told me that it must have grown very very quickly cos the last time he looked, which was just a couple of hours earlier; I was still indeed bald, He said he could vouch for this, as he had left the bedroom laughing from only being able to see a shiny, smooth, round looking object peeping out from under the duvet. “You can’t see it” I told him. This made Lee laugh even more. “Stop laughing” I laughed back at him. “How can I not laugh” he told me. “You’ve rang me up to say that you’ve got hair and then tell me you can’t see it”. Lee didn’t say this quiet either and I could hear his work mate’s laughing in the background too, Oooh I’m so pleased I to give them all a good laugh and some sort of entertainment; it gave me some bloody entertainment too after thinking about what I had just said. “Well I have got some hair, you just wait till you get home” I laughed at him. Lee then told me he wouldn’t have to wait long to see this miracle growth that happens in a couple of hours, as they were packing up and setting off for home very soon, he then added “At this rate it will be half way down your back when I get in”“Har har” I laughed at him sarcastically.“Right I’ve really got to go, I love you and I’ll see you soon.” he said. “Snap” I replied.
After hanging up from Lee I rang my mum. What is it with everyone? I am all excited about getting some hair and all they can do is laugh. While talking to my mum on the phone and trying to tell her that I was being serious I was staring at my head in the living room mirror, I could see tiny little hair follicles sticking up and shimmering in the sunlight. .”Whooo, it’s growing back blonde too” I laughed back at my mum, my mum couldn’t understand why my hair had started growing back, with me being half way through the chemo and asked if it should be coming back so soon. I have no idea and even if it shouldn’t I’m not bothered as my next cycle of chemo will be totally different drugs so for the moment I am happy as this to me is proof that it does grow back.
When Lee arrived home I jumped up to greet him and instead of making him a coffee I started gabbling on about my lovely tiny bits of hair. I had been rubbing my hand over it all afternoon to feel it. It was so soft and I am surprised that I hadn’t rubbed it all off. Lee was laughing so much he said that his sides hurt. But after a close examination and position my head in the sunlight just right, he set off laughing harder and harder “My God, it has started to come back ant it” he laughed, and of course he had to have a feel.
I don’t know if it was the excitement or what, but my energy today seemed to have blossomed, I feel wide awake and feel like nothing could burst this happy bubbly that I have now entered into. The thing that I keep thinking of, is that now my hair has started to come back , must mean that I WILL keep my eyelashes and eyebrows, I am so chuffed that I still have my eyebrows and eyelashes, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this remains the case. I have read that some people keep them throughout so hopefully I will be one of them, and maybe this is a sign that I will get to keep mine too. I will probably lose this tiny little bit of hair on my head with the next chemobut surely it will work the same and I will keep my eyebrows and eyelashes again. It has also taught me that hair starts to come back from chemo very quickly and that I won’t have to be wigging it and scarfing it as long as I thought I would.
One afternoon while pottering around with a duster in my hand, yes it was in my hand, but I never said I was doing anything with it apart from pottering did I. Anyway, something caught my eye on the TV; It was an advert for Pedigree Chum. Why did I get excited about some pedigree chum dog food, well for two reasons, I saw that beautiful dog licking its lips, showing to the world that it really enjoyed eating it, it was running around and wagging its tail, looking so loved and happy. I rang Lee, I got so excited by the advert.“Can we have a dog” I blurted out. “What?” he laughed “have you gone completely mad woman” he said. My happiness bubble had been burst, He told me that he thought it would be too much for me. He could be right , I may have lost the plot completely and gone completely mad, but the way I see it is that having a dog would give me some company during the day, it would also get me out of the house cos I would have to go out and take it for walks. I could go and walk beside the river, play ball with it among other silly little games that you play while you train them. I know having a dog is a lifelong commitment, as a child I grew up with having a cat and a dog, I know the score and I honestly think that having a dog would be good for me.
When Lee got home from work I thought I would get him in a really really good mood, and then try and talk him into having a dog. I’d had the kettle on and the coffee ready in his mug so was able to hand it to him as soon as he walked through the door. He’s not daft and knew exactly what I was up to, that’s the problem with him; he knows what I’m thinking half the time before I do. I didn’t have to butter him up, he started to talk about dogs as soon as I handed him his cuppa, and after him having time to think about it on his journey home, he had come to the conclusion that a dog would be good for me. I couldn’t believe it, he actually agreed with me. I do need something to do, I need company, I need more of an incentive to get out in the fresh air and get some exercise. All this a dog can provide and at the same time we would be providing a loving home to a dog that needs it. Oh yes we would adopt a dog from a rescue centre that would go without saying… Lee and I agreed that the first plan would be to do some ground work so that we could start our search for our new family member.
I may have lost the gone completely mad now and lost the plot, but I don’t care, maybe it’s because I have way too much time on my hands, or it may be that the chemo is damaging my brain cells to the extremities of the twilight zone. I have half a millimeter of hair, so bloody short that you can only see it if you get my head in the right light, but for someone who has come from beautiful long blonde hair, and who’s hair was one of her best features, this small amount of growth has meant the world. On top of that, a little doggy is guna be given a loving home, someone to keep me company and someone for me to love and take care of. My world at the moment is one big happy bubble. I feel like I’m the happiest person alive.