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Bath Time !
That night while having a bath, Lee sat perched on the toilet seat. “I have an idea for your flushes” he said “Why don’t you sleep on one of the big bath sheets”. “Bath Sheet” I laughed. “That would make me even hotter and I’m sweating cobs without thank you very much”. “No seriously” he went on “You’re waking up because you’re hot but you can’t get back to sleep because you’re then dithering with cold from lying on a damp sheet. The bath sheet will absorb the moisture. I bet it works”. I thought about it for a couple of minutes and the more I thought the more it did make sense and so decided to give it go.
Lee changed the subject and asked what time my mum was going to arrive on Thursday. I had no idea, just that it was arranged that she was coming on Thursday so that she would be here to take me for my next chemo early Friday morning. “You do realise that it’s going to be hard for her when she see’s you” he said. I knew what he meant. Even though I had sent my mum the picture of me without hair I was in fact balder now after the cello-tape ordeal plus it’s a totally different kettle of fish to when it comes to seeing me in the flesh for the first time since I lost my hair. She will for the first time see how the chemo is changing her baby daughter.
I am looking forward to her coming to stay and to spending some time together and I do wish we lived closer together so that I could see her more often. It seems strange as up to me moving to Nottingham the only time’s that we didn’t see each other every day was when one of us had gone on holiday and for a couple of years before I met Lee we did in fact go on holiday together. Now at a time when a mother and daughter need each other we are miles apart. I need my mum for the comfort, care and encouragement that she has always given me, I know I get this from Lee and I love him dearly for everything that he does and says, for keeping me strong and laughing but at the end of the day, a daughter always wants her mother when things aren’t going well. I suppose my mum needs me too so she can give me the comfort, care and encouragement, to make sure that I am Ok and to probably knowing my mum, take over with the household chores such as the washing and ironing. My mum will be staying over on the Friday night too so that she can spend the day with me on my Birthday. Oh my God! I’m forty this year and in a couple of days I will be classed as middle aged. I can remember when I was 8 years old I thought that being in your twenties was old, so with that in mind what is that going to make me reaching 40; Ancient, Antique? Naa you’re as old as you feel and I don’t feel a day over 21. Hopefully the chemo won’t have much effect on me again as we’ve planned to go out for some lunch. I would have preferred to have done something a little more exciting this year and had talked about going camping at Pendle Hill for the weekend. Pendle Hill being one of the most haunted places in Britain, and I liked the idea of a load of adults going out there, sitting round a camp fire with a few beers and scaring each other half to death. But getting rid of this cancer takes priority over anything like that. Anyway there’s always next year isn’t there?
My thoughts had drifted. I was visualising the squatters, this time in even smaller groups. They are dying, dying a horrible death from the chemo poison just like they deserve. So much has changed since I was diagnosed. I look and see things differently, days seem shorter, and nights seem longer. People have changed towards me too, some in a good way and some in a bad way, some are just plain nasty. The main thing that really matters is that the family are closer, and Lee and I are closer. Lee and I have reached a point now where we don’t even have to say anything to know each other’s thoughts. We have bonded so much to the point that during intercourse we feel like we have blended into one person.
“Are you flushing again” Lee broke my thoughts. “Yeah” I replied back to him with a big smile. “You’ve gone that lovely shade of red again” he laughed. As I sat up to do my usual and dip my head forward to run my hands over my bald head, as this sometimes seemed to cool me down. “Aargh” I screamed. Lee was laughing uncontrollably now as the ice cold water ran from the top of my bald head and down my shoulders and back. As I got my breath together I saw that he was filling the jug again and I quickly tried to move out of the way but no, with Lee laughing he poured this one over my head too. “Have you cooled down yet darling” he said laughing. “Yes! I’m bloody freezing now” I laughed back through jittering teeth. “You rotten sod”
Sinking back down into the hot bath water I gazed up at Lee, he was still laughing, laughing to the point where he was having to hold his stomach. I smiled; a happy contented smile “I do Love you” I told him “Snap” he replied.
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